


True Contentment Requires Earplugs

by wyvernwolf



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Background Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin (Kingsman), F/M, Fluff, M/M, Not Kingsman: The Golden Circle Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 19:58:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17884217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyvernwolf/pseuds/wyvernwolf
Summary: Thank god we're alive sex is all well and good, but Eggsy wishes Merlin and Harry would be a little more discreet.





	True Contentment Requires Earplugs

Eggsy popped his head into the bedroom, a scrunched up tube of toothpaste in his hand, “Babe, we got any toothpaste left?”

Tilde looked up from her tablet. “Hmm? Oh, check my toiletries bag I think I have a small tube in there somewhere.”

“Thanks, babe,” Eggsy said and disappeared back into the bathroom. He reappeared not too long after and with a whoop did a running jump onto the bed making Tilde squeal when she bounced and dropped her tablet.

“Eggsy!” She scolded and then laughed when he pounced on her and wrestled her onto her back, caging her with his arms.

“Hello, beautiful,” he murmured. Tilde smiled up at him and reached up to trace the lines of Eggsy’s jaw.

“Hello yourself, handsome,” she murmured back and they were about to kiss when there was a muffled shout.

Eggsy dropped his head to rest against Tilde’s collarbone. “Not again,” he complained into the warmth of her skin.

There was some indistinct murmuring and in the following silence, Eggsy looked back up at Tilde and mimed counting down from three on his fingers and right as he folded his last finger down, the moaning and the squeaking of bed springs started and Eggsy grinned when Tilde pushed him off her and grabbed her pillow to cover her giggles.

Eggsy rolled back onto the bed, enjoying the smoothness of the sheets against his skin, and listened to his girlfriend’s muffled laughter to the accompaniment of the now familiar sounds from the room across the hallway from them.

The house they were currently in had been hastily rented to accommodate all of them on their return to England from Kentucky and as they has soon discovered, the bedrooms did not have any form of sound proofing.

And god did Eggsy sincerely hope that Merlin would be able to access the funds Kingsman had secreted away soon because they desperately needed to upgrade their accommodations. As much as he loved his friends, Eggsy really didn’t need to hear about how good Merlin was at rimming or how much Harry loved Merlin’s cock.

Tilde’s giggles died off and she slumped against him with a contented sigh. Eggsy wrapped his arm around her, tugging her closer, until she was curled into him, laying her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes, breathing in her familiar scent and thanked god that he was able to hold her in his arms again. They lay there, cuddled up together and just enjoyed being together when the noises reached a crescendo before stopping and silence fell.

Eggsy made a big production of checking his watch and announced, “Ten minutes. I’m disappointed. I thought they had better stamina then that.”

Tilde slapped her hand across his mouth. “They might hear you,” she remonstrated with him, but Eggsy could see her biting her lip trying to hide her own smile.

“How’s about you and me give them something to listen to this time?” Eggsy murmured and leaned down to her uplifted face and placed the gentlest of kisses on her soft lips. He couldn’t get enough of those lips. He couldn’t get enough of Tilde, period, and counted himself the luckiest man alive that she was still with him after the whole Poppy mess.

Tilde slid her arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer, opening her mouth and deepening the kiss. Eggsy had just started sliding the straps on her camisole down when the noises started again, accompanied this time by the very loud squeaking of the bed.

They broke apart, Eggsy with a groan of frustration and they exchanged resigned but amused looks.

“It’s the third time tonight?” Tilde murmured and Eggsy shook his head and shrugged helplessly from where he had flopped back onto the bed.

“I suppose they _have_ just found out that they’re both alive,” he said. “So yay for thank god we’re both alive sex?”

Their door banged opened before Tilde could reply and Eggsy automatically pushed himself in front of her and was reaching for his hidden gun when he realised who it was. He caught Tilde’s eyes and mouthed sorry to her as a small figure with a head of blonde hair threw itself on the bed and determinedly crawled into the small space between them.

“Make them stop,” Roxy growled and aggressively cuddled into the pile of pillows, leaning back into Tilde and pouting.

Tilde patted Roxy’s dishevelled hair and rested her chin against Roxy’s shoulder raising her eyebrows at Eggsy. Eggsy looked at two of his most favourite people and felt like his heart would burst with happiness especially since he’d spent all that time in Kentucky thinking that Roxy had died in the mansion’s explosion.

“Not sure what I can do about it, Rox. Not like I’m gonna barge in there and tell them to stop banging,” Eggsy said.

Roxy let out an aggrieved sigh and faceplanted into a pillow.

“They’re in their fifties, they’re ancient. How can they still be going like rabbits?” She moaned loud enough for them to still hear her.

Tilde hugged her and pulled a face at Eggsy, mouthing at him to say something. Eggsy made his own face at her and shrugged. What the fuck was he supposed to say?

“At least you two got it out of your systems,” Roxy continued, pushing her head back into Tilde’s hand like a cat.

Taking the hint, Tilde resumed petting Roxy’s hair and smiled at Eggsy, wide and cheeky and Eggsy fell in love with her a little more. They both knew they hadn’t so much as got it out their systems as being desperate and inventive enough to find any place to spend snatched moments of time together. Eggsy now had very fond memories of Tilde’s official town car. Her driver in turn was due for a hefty raise for his discretion.

“They’re celebrating the joy of finding each other alive,” Eggsy pointed out and didn’t bother to cover his grin when Roxy tilted her head and speared him with a glare from her one visible eye.

The vivid bruising around it made Eggsy’s smile falter but it returned when Roxy poked him in the ribs in retaliation.

He winced and rubbed at the spot. She might be hurt, but she was the same vicious Roxy and Eggsy was so relieved that she was still alive.

“Thank god we’re alive sex is all well and good but must they be so loud?” She grumbled. “You’re not the one with the bedroom right next to theirs. I can hear almost everything because this building is shittily constructed. God, all the moaning and groaning and harder, Merlin, harder. Who knew Harry was such an aggressive bottom!”

Eggsy burst into laughter. “Oh my god, Rox, there are just some things I did not need to know about Harry!” He managed to get out. “It’s like learning that your parents have sex!”

Tilde was smiling mischievously. “I don’t think shittily is a word, Roxy,” she pointed out solemnly and then started laughing when Roxy shot her a betrayed look.

Roxy huffed at them and crossed her arms. “Go ahead and laugh. You wouldn’t be laughing if you were in my shoes,” she said, and then looked imploringly at them. “Can I stay here with you two? It’s not as loud here.”

There were scratches and bruising all down the right side of her face from where something had hit her in the aftermath of the explosions and neither Eggsy nor Tilde could say no to that in addition to the big cow eyes she was using on them. And then when she mumbled, “And I don’t want to be alone,” what little resistance they had, crumbled like wet tissue paper.

Eggsy rolled his eyes but his voice was fond when he said, “Fine, but get on your side. And don’t hog the covers. Last time you were in here you took all the blankets. Me and Tilde were freezing.”

Roxy grinned and quickly pecked a kiss on a smiling Tilde’s cheek before dropping a loud smack on Eggsy’s forehead. She very ungracefully scrambled over Eggsy, neatly kneeing him in the kidneys before crawling under the covers on his left side. Eggsy bit back the curse at the sharp pain and kept a tight hold on the covers. He hadn’t been kidding about her stealing them.

Once Roxy had settled down and only a small tuft of blonde hair was visible from where she had hidden herself, Eggsy shuffled the covers over himself and Tilde and moved closer to Tilde who leaned over to turn off the bedside light before curling into him. Eggsy buried his nose into her hair and closed his eyes. He had his girlfriend in his arms, his best mate was safe beside him and his two mentors were alive and getting it on in the other room. And to top it all off, the noises from across the hall had died down until they were almost ignorable.

There was nothing else Eggsy could wish for.

Merlin let out a shout that could have been Harry’s name then and all three occupants of the bed groaned in unison, Roxy shoving her head under the pillow.

Eggsy reconsidered his last thought. Maybe he would wish for earplugs.


End file.
